The cover of the March “Details,” a men’s magazine one would be hard-pressed to find in McMinnville (if at all), featured Robert Pattinson (“Twilight”) and the title “The Remasculation of the American Man.” Now isn’t that a bit of an oxymoron?
That’s hardly the point, though. The article described a shocking ideal of what being “masculine” means to the general populace and how that definition is slowly evolving.
Jeff Gordinier, the article’s author, painted a slightly depressing, although nevertheless true, former portrait of the “masculine” American man: “A ‘real man’ was a middle-management guy who watched the game in old sweatpants, scratched his ’nads and ogled the pom-pom squad while drinking cheap beer, stuffing his face with chili dogs, burping volcanically and complaining about the ol’ ball and chain. A real man was a pig, more or less.”
Sound familiar? It should. This has been a typical image drawn up when people say “a real man.” And men wonder why women are appalled at some of their behaviors.
However, that is not to say that the polar opposite should be the ideal standard, either. Cowering in the corner, surrounded by fluffy pillows and complaining about how your boss said something mean to you (because you screwed up) does not equate to being “a real man.” Then again, it never did. But that seems to be the current trend: “If I can’t be ‘a real man,’ then I’ll be a pansy. It’s easier.”
Much of that justification for turning into Mr. Sally Sunshine stems from a change in the meaning of masculinity. Not too long ago, there was a backlash against the frat-boy cliché of “man-ness,” resulting in a deteriorating effect. Instead of moving forward and being something more, men retreated into their Fortresses of Comfort.
The “Details” article pointed out a distinct difference, an almost intangible assessment that’s essential to this discussion: “He’s a gentleman, absolutely, but that doesn’t mean he always has to be gentle.”
A gentleman should know how to dance (waltz, foxtrot, what have you) and know how to dress. (It’s not a sin to your masculinity to recognize and appreciate a good fit.) But that same gentleman should be confident, smart and capable of throwing down, as well.
To be a gentleman requires balance and consistency. A real man shouldn’t be expected to go to war and return unscathed. But a real man should also know how to change a tire. Properly tying a tie and knowing your way through a toolbox should go hand-in-hand. He knows when to fight and when to back down. He does the right thing because that’s the right thing to do.
It shouldn’t be left at one extreme or the other. Then again, being “a real man” isn’t always easy. But that’s still no excuse for not being one.

Dominic Baez
Editor-in-chief Dominic Baez can be reached at [email protected]