If there’s ever another movie involving a mysterious virus that somehow drives victims crazy, the federal government embodying the bad guy and a morgue playing host to more than just dead people, it’ll be all too soon.
“The Crazies,” directed by Breck Eisner, is reminiscent of the olden horror movie mix: Combine one part government “accidently” releasing a mind-altering virus into the water supply, one part people going crazy and killing indiscriminately, one part a few people staying sane and trying to find a safe haven, add a pitchfork and, voila, a recipe for disaster.
“The Crazies” centers in Ogden March, Iowa, a small Midwestern town, to celebrate the opening of baseball season. And that’s when all hell breaks loose.
Sheriff David Dutton (Timothy Olyphant), the protagonist, is the first to discover the link between the disease and the mysterious downed plane in the wetlands. However, merely shutting off the water supply does not stem the tide of bicycle-riding psychopathic killers. (Dutton does not warn anyone not to drink the water, oddly enough.)
From there, the film shifts to a militaristic, strike-zone scene, initiating the lockdown protocol for Ogden Marsh. (It’s a nice touch.) Cell phones lose their signals and the Internet ceases to operate, but that’s nothing to the virus-infected lunatics strolling around with bone saws, whistling catchy jingles.
However, that is one of the movie’s faults: The crazies don’t follow zombie lore. Technically, it’s not a true zombie movie, but the monsters jump from raving, babbling idiots to sadistic, highly intelligent murderers. It’s a bit hard to keep track.
Regardless, Dutton; his pregnant wife, Dr. Judy (Radha Mitchell); his deputy, Russell Clank (Joe Anderson); and Judy’s assistant, Becca Darling (Danielle Panabaker), a ragtag group if there ever was one, embark on a quest to survive.
It’s similar to the “Resident Evil” trilogy plot, where a corrupt corporation goes all “you don’t ask, we infect you all anyway” on the residents of Raccoon City. Instead of an evil corporation, the military, doing whatever it is the military does, takes the helm in this rendition. It even goes so far as cordoning off the town’s population in a make-shift military base. Those deemed infected are taken away, usually screaming the whole way. It’s the classic “big government” scenario.
That doesn’t make what happens any less atrocious, though. The military commits some pretty heinous acts, and no amount of psychosis-inducing virus can justify them.
The plot, although scary enough, was too sporadic and unbelievable at times to be considered good. Too many close saves and perfectly timed miracles bog the plausibility down. For example, the entire town was decimated by the virus within a day of being discovered; how’s that for convenient?
Olyphant’s acting was spot on for what was expected, but the prize has to go to Anderson: The deputy added a hint of humor in an otherwise dreary reality.
Is it worth seeing? That depends on if you have $10 to spare. The dichotomy between crazy and sane people will be enough to entice you. Will it be enough to make you pay to see it in theaters? Probably not. If you want to see something truly horrifying, just go to your local Wal-Mart.
Rated: R (bloody violence, profanity)
Running time: 1 hour, 41 minutes
Dominic Baez
Editor-in-chief
Dominic Baez can be reached at [email protected]
