Kaden’s Komments: Get Shreked Bby


Kaden Gass, Staff Writer

Hey guys and gals. It’s ya boy Kaden Gass, and today we are reviewing Shrek 2: the best movie from the Shrek series. I am drinking a glass of wine and 22 years young while reviewing this cinematic masterpiece, so if my words make no sense and I seem overjoyed to be doing my job, it’s because I’m really invested and forgot I had to do this simultaneously.

First, let’s just get this out of the way. The fairy godmother is the most queen character in this series. She’sa feminist icon and relatable as hell. 

She’s literally me–the part when she said, ”You made me do something I really didn’t want to do.” She then proceeded to go to the equivalent of a McDonalds called “Friar’s Fat Boy” and gave up on her diet…I felt that. Queen energy.

Not only that, but I appreciate how she’s also a realist. I mean, what fairy tale actually has an ogre in it? When she was roasting Shrek, she was just being honest.

I’m also analyzing the movie from the perspective of humans and ogres. I have a conspiracy that ogres are a metaphor for minorities. When the whole kingdom was shocked that Fiona was marrying an ogre, that was the equivalent to doing the same thing as a minority. 

The narration and storyline of this series is second to none, and the fact that it was written in 2004 sets it eons ahead of its time.

I relate to Shrek and this whole story universe, if I’m being honest. He’s just looking for acceptance and he’s so strong, so what else would you want in life? 

Here’s the deal, from one gay to another straight person. People love who they love. If you have a problem with that, well… Too bad. Life isn’t all about you. If they’re a solid 5/10 and you find them marriage material, then great. Meanwhile I can’t even decide what I want for breakfast, let alone the thought of bringing a man into my life.

To all my readers, I have to say this: never give up on your dreams, because one day you will end up in Funkytown and be the absolute best you can be.