I’m spooked by the lack of creativity

Kaden Gass, Staff Writer

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What do you get at the crossroads of skimpy and scary? Me. Kaden Gass, how are ya?!

Halloween is right around the corner and I can’t wait to witness yet again the divide of costumes that range from creative to just slutty. 

If I’m being real with you all, I’m gay. Shocker, I know. And gays are supposed to love Halloween right? Well to be honest with you, I’m more of a Christmas bitch. Like I get the appeal of wearing lingerie and calling it “skimpy fashion” but it just doesn’t appeal to me. 

I know what you’re thinking, “Kaden, what are you going to be?” The answer is honest–a hypocrite. Aka, a sexy devil. I felt like I really needed to step up my game this year and at least look like I’m trying to be festive. Nothing says originality quite like a devil costume.

I envy the people that put their heart, soul and wallet into this holiday. I wish I had the drive and dedication to purchase $1000 plus in lawn decorations but alas, I’m poor and lazy. 

I remember when I was little, the best houses were those that gave out full-sized candy bars and had the scariest decorations. There was no better feeling than going up to a door only to have my shit rocked by a Michael Myers animatronic.

So as you enjoy the Halloween season this weekend, let us reflect on the poor lost souls that tried to serve the most with their costumes but ended up giving us nothing. May they try harder next year and achieve greater things. 

If you’re blessed enough to witness the hotness that is me this weekend, first off, you’re welcome. But also, take some time to reflect on how you too could be on my level–you spent $15 on Shein and failed to look this good. There’s always next year.