Biker shorts, the latest trend

Charlotte Abramson, Opinions Editor

Can someone please explain biker shorts?

I mean it, I’m really confused. Normally, I’m up to date and in compliance with the latest fashion trends..but biker shorts? I’m a little worried your legs are confused.

The campus is rampant with them and while you all look absolutely flawless, I still don’t see the point. Are they warmer than shorts but cooler than pants? Did you just decide you only wanted to do half of your leggings that day? 

At first I thought they might be uncomfortable, but seeing the masses grow, and with more and more sightings of biker shorts around town without the accompanying bikes…I think I might be wrong. They seem to have arisen from TikTok as a lot of things have these days and perhaps that’s why I’m so cautious. 

These younger generations are wild, I feel old as hell. And yeah, my back does hurt. 

Personally, I just don’t think it’s my style and therefore cannot justify spending money on it. Sadly, all of my money goes towards iced coffee and renewing my parking pass. Someone has to tell me though, why are they so popular? 

I have to admit, they give everyone an ass and that is never a bad thing–pop off queens. 

But for real, the closest I’ve ever gotten to wearing biker shorts was a professional racing suit for swimming that cut off the circulation in your lower legs. They take 10 minutes to get on, end just above the knee, and frankly you could use them as a tourniquet for a lower leg amputation if you ever find yourself in need. 

I wish I could wear them, I really do. I’ve seen several in pastel colors that were just mind blowing, but I’m still concerned about your legs. 

So I beg of you, can someone please explain biker shorts?