Squirreling around: it’s not me, it’s you

Laney Green, Staff Writer

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Saturday, March 20

I’ve become increasingly more aware of the constant judgemental comments about Linfield squirrels. From the trees, I always catch the bipeds muttering about how we squirrels are a “different breed.” What does that even mean? If anything I think it’s Linfield students that are the different breed. Let me explain.

Lately, the students of Linfield have been going off. I don’t want to call what I experienced an attack, but it was menacing enough to be described as such. I’ll set the scene. One afternoon I was passing by the Dillin tents just looking for an afternoon snack. I came across an almost entirely intact sandwich; the holy grail. But in the wake of my excitement, I was disturbed by what can only be described as hyena cackling from some nearby onlookers. The noise belonged to some students, typically less harmless than what their laughter resembled. 

The outburst came as a reaction to my efforts of dragging my sandwich to the safety of a nearby bush. I’m not sure why they became so deeply enthralled, but I guess I’ll accept their stares as flattery. This kind of treatment is exactly why I’m so invested in this topic. Can it really be the squirrels that are that unusual? I think deeper observation should be placed on the students that inhabit this campus.

 

Friday, March 26

Another incident took place today and this one shook me to my core. There I was, keeping to myself on the lawn in the six-pack. I was a little overcome with excitement while digging up an acorn I swore I buried in that exact spot no more than a week ago. When it didn’t appear my mind began to spiral and I started questioning my actions, was I digging in the wrong lawn? And that’s the moment my heart skipped at least three beats. 

A sandal flew over my head at a surprisingly quick rate. Luckily, I escaped any contact that could’ve been made due to my faster than cat-like reflexes. In a fight or flight moment, I chose both: flight to avoid the attacker and scurry off to safety, but not before a quick over-the-shoulder look to assert my fight response. Sure, maybe part of the issue was my lack of awareness of my immediate surroundings. But regardless, any trust I had instilled in the students here has been withdrawn… and I’m certain it’s you and not me who’s the different breed. 

~ a Linfield squirrel