The sky is falling and so is my sanity


Kaden Gass, Staff Writer

Have you ever been in a situation where you’re walking down the street on a cloudy day back from class and you feel a large rain droplet hit your head? You go up to brush it off only to realize that a bird took a poop mid-flight all over your clothes? Yeah, that was me this Tuesday.

Thankfully this didn’t completely ruin my day, as I found it more comical than disgusting. My friend, after laughing her ass off, told me that a bird pooping on you was supposedly good luck, and boy let me tell you, Tuesday was a wild ride. 

I was waiting for good things to happen to me—the universe owed me at least that—but no, my car decided to break down. I was going to Albertson’s to pick up some groceries when I tried to close my door, but it couldn’t close. The locking mechanism that’s supposed to secure your door shut was no longer functioning, so I had to use one arm to keep my door in, while using my right hand to steer my car back to campus. 

But that’s okay. Because I’m basically a gay mechanic, I had that car fixed and ready to go within 30 minutes. Was it good luck that I was able to fix it so fast? Or bad luck that it happened in the first place?

I decided to get to the bottom of this. To see where my luck actually stood in this karmic universe. So I went back to Albertson’s to finally get my groceries, and I purchased some lotto tickets. I thought if a bird pooping meant good luck, then what better way to manifest that luck than a lotto ticket?

On my very first one-dollar ticket I got a 10x multiplier and won 10x my money! On my 10 dollar tickets I won absolutely nothing. So YOU be the judge of that. I won 10x my money but lost 10 dollars overall.

Moral of the story, I feel like people really hype up bird shit a little too much when, in fact, it made my Tuesday very stressful. I’m a firm believer in fate and manifesting things, and I don’t think it’s a sign of good luck and fortune, but that’s just me. But hey, that’s why this is an opinion column am I right? Maybe it’s just the eye of the beholder, being able to see the good out of a shitty situation (no pun intended) and using positivity to make your day better.