Roses are red…..I’m still single

Kaden Gass, Staff Writer

I want to address a holiday that’s coming up that I absolutely am not a fan of because no one loves me; Valentines Day. It’s not that I hate Valentine’s Day completely, it’s that while everyone else is happily in love and getting free food from their hunky boy toy at Two Dogs, I’m stuck at home like a loser eating full-priced Reese’s Hearts. I just don’t get how a cute single guy like me can’t be cuffed after 21 years of life. Yeah, I grew up with an ugly haircut and was unathletic, but it’s the personality that matters, right?

So what does a single person do on a tag team holiday like this one? Well, look no further because I’m your gay! Like any logical brain, I consulted Google to see how to address loneliness on this holiday. The first option that came up said to “Catch your lonely thoughts.” I don’t know what that means, but I don’t have a net so that was not a viable option.

Another option that I found fun and quirky is to be a secret love assassin (hear me out here). You buy your crush or someone you think is cute a box of chocolates or a stuffed animal, and you leave it on their doorstep with their name and a cute note. Pros: if they don’t like you, they’ll never know it was you. Cons: if they like you, they’ll never know it was you.

If you’re like me, the highlight of this week is the release of “To All the Boys I’ve Met 3”. Now I don’t know about you, but I plan to fully make an event out of this. I’m talking about charcuterie boards, some wine, lighting a (fake) candle; the whole ambiance. Again, I’m the perfect boyfriend!

If I can’t have true love now, then best believe I will live my perfect relationship fantasy through Laura Jean and Peter Kavinski (let’s be real, just Peter.) 😉

The point of Valentine’s day may be to spend time with your significant other, but that doesn’t mean anyone should spend the holiday alone. Find the people in your life that bring you that sense of completeness and love and make sure to have a great time with them. I’m a strong believer in fate and that what’s meant to be will eventually happen, and that’s no different here. The universe has a plan for all of us so don’t fret on just one day!

In all honesty though, I am happy for the people that celebrate real love on this holiday. Don’t mind me for being petty in the first two paragraphs because I think a whole day to just appreciate the important other in your life is so amazing! And not only that, but seeing people together and being so happy gives me hope in my future too (even as annoying as I find it)!

To all my lovely single gals and guys at Linfield, don’t get down on yourself just because there’s no one here for you. Y’all have to remember that Linfield is a population of… what, 2,000 people? Not everyone is going to find their soulmate, but what people will find at this school are lifelong bonds with people that they can share this ever important day with.