WARNING: SPOILERS.

For a franchise that coats the notion of true love in materialism and self-promotion, I guess I should have known that this season of “The Bachelor” would disappoint me yet again.

The bachelor, Peter Weber– also known as “Pilot Pete”– has become consumed with his girlfriends’ drama, proving time and time again that the 28-year-old is actually still just a boy who is enthralled by theatrics.   

Hannah Ann stole Kelsey’s champagne. Sydney told everyone Alayah was a fraud. Tammy accused Kelsey of being an alcoholic and then flamed Mykenna because she’s only 22. Victoria F. implodes nearly any time Peter talks to her. 

It’s elevated for click-bait, but I can’t suppress my disdain for it all. The drama is so exaggerated that I have a hard time finishing each episode. 

“The producers did too much this season to make drama, and that sucked Peter in very easily,” said Naomi Kincade, a Linfield nursing major who has been keeping up with the show this season. 

For Fantasy Suite week, we were left with the final three girls.

We have Madison, the 23-year-old foster parent recruiter from Alabama, who is looking for a man who loves “the Lord” and values her purity as much as she does. Last week she broke Peter’s ankles at the Auburn basketball court, which was one of the few things I appreciated about the episode. 

This week she reached her breaking point and seems to be on the verge of leaving the man she loves. She informed him that she’s waiting for marriage and gave him an ultimatum: if he is intimate with the other women she will head back to ‘Bama without looking back. I guess we’ll see next week if she’ll put her money where her mouth is. 

Then there’s Hannah Ann: a chipper 23-year-old model from Tennessee. She loves Peter because he makes her feel like he hasn’t dated 29 other girls these last four months.

This week Peter said he loved riding jet skis on the beach with her, and that he could see them being that light-hearted for the rest of their lives. If Hannah Ann gets Peter’s proposal in the end, they’ll be in for a rude awakening when they step back into real life and see that not every day can be as breezy as sunset kisses in Gold Coast, Australia.    

And to everybody’s surprise, Victoria F. has successfully gaslit her way into the final three. 

The 26-year-old medical sales representative from Virginia had the opportunity to introduce Peter to her family in last week’s episode, but instead came uncorked when he addressed her about her intentions.

After blowing matters out of proportion, she attempted to manipulate Peter’s feelings one more time by professing her love for him as he turned to walk away from her house and potentially the whole relationship. He left without making it all the way up her front steps, while Victoria’s family sat in the living room waiting to meet him.

“Every time Peter gently tried to question Victoria F. about something she did, she flipped the script on him like he was acting out of line,” Kincade said. “It’s so manipulative it makes my skin crawl.” 

Peter literally said verbatim in an interview: “I love everything about my relationship with Victoria, except when it comes to just communicating.” I’m no therapist but even I know that communication is basically the fundamental element of any relationship.  

So here are the final three: two girls the same age as Linfield’s senior class and one slightly older who has the emotional intelligence of a 13-year-old. But Peter has no one to blame but himself. 

Peter isn’t ready for the “happily ever after” he seeks if he so clearly still feeds into the farcical parade his girlfriends give him, nor are any of the ladies he has chosen as potential future Mrs. Webers.