Squirreling around: I’m tired of fall
October 28, 2021
Tuesday, Oct. 26
Yes, it’s true that I am over fall. It’s not like I’m in a huge hurry to begin winter because, truthfully, I wish that season was already over and done with. Really, I’m just over the bipolar weather. The beginning of the week starts off a little chilly, and by the end, it’s storming and I have to practically swim through the droplets. I mean, just make up your mind already! To top off the constant swampy state I feel I am living in, the sky is falling. That sounds dramatic, but I promise it’s true. Well, mostly true.
You see, the leaves falling from trees may seem like nothing to you. But to a squirrel that’s typically less than a foot tall, this process is a cause for concern. Unfortunately, Linfield’s campus is rather crowded with deciduous trees. Not only are we stuck playing a season long game of dodgeball against the leaves, but it also means our nests become increasingly exposed. This happens year after year and somehow I’m still surprised each time it does. Maybe next year I’ll catch a clue, but for now, I’m tired of fall.
Thursday, Oct. 28
Enough about the weather, I have found a new passion project. Well, it’s not necessarily a new concept, but I have decided it’s in my best interest to continue to milk it. As promised, I have been on my most gracious behavior, welcoming students new and old with open arms. But, it’s safe to say I have found my target. Especially with the colder months setting in, I have honestly hit the gold mine for easy winter prep work. The gold mine you may be wondering, takes form in overcurious, free-handed freshmen that never bothered to pick up screens for their windows.
As you may or may not already know, squirrels don’t typically hibernate. We become less active around campus for sure, but that’s a given; these coats aren’t as thick as you might think. No hibernation, coupled with less viable time outside, typically means some preparation is necessary going into the last few months of the year. Either that, or you better get really good at begging. In my case, I’m prepared to do both. Work smarter, not harder, right?
My plan is simple. Over the last couple of weeks I have been buttering up the residents on the third floor of Miller hall. I’ve been making rounds to a couple other suites, but it’s this dorm and its inhabitants that keep me reverting back. In their eyes I’m cute and not just another campus rodent. I like to believe I’m special to them and the way they treat me justifies this thought. They giggle when I begin to intrude, and to show that I understand the nerves behind this reaction, I back out. After repeating this process a handful of times, I have started to gain their trust. This has rewarded me a couple offerings of nuts. It’s not quite enough to get me through the season, but I’m prepared to hone in on them until they tap out, or I guess just close their window.
~a Linfield squirrel
Dave R. • Nov 5, 2021 at 12:24 pm
Dear Ms Squirrel,
I have enjoyed your series of observations at Linfield! One thing I am wondering about: from your pictures it appears you are a fox squirrel (what we bipeds classify as Sciurus niger). What are your thoughts on your western gray squirrel (Sciurus griseus) relatives? Is there a Critical Squirrel Theory controversy at Linfield?
Allmeyer-Green Rita • Nov 2, 2021 at 8:48 pm
Love the squirrels !