Kelley Hungerford

I check the MSN.com headlines every day, and I am often shocked at some of the headlines that find their way into the main spread of the homepage.
Today, for instance, I saw one about “Jon and Kate Plus 8” dad Jon Gosselin denying allegations that he cheated on his wife, Kate Gosselin.
I don’t watch the show, but my roommate does. More than once this term I recall returning to my room with my moldy Dillin burger and thinking she had given birth to a group of irritated, menopausal banshees. She was really just watching “Jon and Kate Plus 8” while calmly eating lunch; I don’t know how she does it, but she must be patient and strong.
Because she watches it everyday, I have picked up on some of Jon’s, Kate’s and “8’s” characteristics. Jon seems shy and as though he hates his wife, who is an incredibly touchy, overbearing, controlling bitch, and their kids are all loud and bratty.
Now, I don’t condone cheating. It sucks to be cheated on, and if you’ve ever cheated on your significant other, then you should feel like a dirty, ashamed, cruel cheater-cheater-pumpkin-eater. Having said that, can you really blame Jon? I don’t know, or care, if he did, but his wife is a dominant wench and his kids are nuts; cut the guy some slack. It’s like Bill: Whether he did it or not, any guy would be attracted to an ugly, big-lipped intern when he’s married to what he thought was a woman but is actually a man… or a flesh-eating zombie cyborg.
I’m trying to get to more important points: First, this isn’t going to stop anyone from watching the show; people are going to watch it more. Though we can hope that people will be appalled at Jon’s supposed conduct and decide to not watch the show, but TV viewers are drawn to conflict. It doesn’t matter if Jon actually cheated because the conflict it has created will make the show’s ratings soar. Also, say Jon did cheat, would Kate divorce him? Maybe, but they have eight children, and I’ll bet that TV show pays pretty darn well. Perhaps the show should be canceled because of the bad morals this controversy is creating, but no one cares about morals when they’ve got money in the bank.
Worst of all, this headline was in the main news section of MSN.com. Why is this newsworthy? Too many newspapers, news stations and Web sites run stories of no value. For instance, when I checked MSN.com later in the day, the Jon and Kate article had been replaced by one about Michelle Obama’s fashion sense. Does it matter? Will the saying soon be, “Are you a Jackie or a Marilyn or a Michelle?” I don’t want to know what the woman who says the best thing she’s done so far in the White House is an appearance on Sesame Street is wearing.
I want to know the news. I want to know about the Santa Barbara, Calif., fires. I want to know about a new study’s findings about why people follow stupid reality shows. I want to know why MSN.com’s news section isn’t the highest up on the Web site. I want to know why celebrity news is more popular than real news.
I want to know if it’s still OK for me to watch “The Soup” and “Chelsea Lately” after writing this. It feels a little like cheating.