It is now the fourth week of school here at Linfield. For many students it is a brand new experience. Freshmen are away from home and parents for the first time, transfer students are at a school with new rules and expectations, and 21-year-olds have reached the last stepping stone to complete adulthood.
The last one means the ability to freely get alcohol. Because this is a column about sex, I wanted to talk about mixing the two. Be aware of the situation you may be getting yourself into.
Alcohol, as an inhibitor, is commonly used to relax. It is also used to try to fit in. In social situations like parties, at any college, alcohol is used for both reasons and the age of the person doesn’t matter. Older people will buy it to impress their younger friends and younger students will drink to feel and seem older.
Of course, alcohol can be dangerous for those drinking it or for others around people who are. It can lead to bad decisions, injuries, and in some situations, death. For example, someone who drinks and drives could seriously hurt themselves or another uninvolved person.
Adding sex to alcohol use can have dire consequences. Because alcohol reduces a person’s inhibitions, they may decide to do something they wouldn’t normally. Someone who has been drinking loses their ability to judge situations rationally.
A woman who is being pressured to have sex may give in when she wouldn’t if she were sober. And sex includes all types of sexual contact, whether it is oral, vaginal, anal or touching.
Because alcohol lowers the ability to make informed decisions, if one is under the influence it is technically rape.
That being said, it is up to the person who was intoxicated to decide whether they felt they were taken advantage of in the situation. Plenty of times people have alcohol and then engage in sex, and it’s not rape because they don’t feel like they were taken advantage of. Usually this is with a partner with whom they had already planned the event or are very trusting of.
That’s not to say that it doesn’t happen, even between partners in a relationship. Some people can get violent or abusive when they drink. While intoxicated they may think their partner is excluded from getting to say no or that it is their right to have sex with their partner. This is absolutely not true.
Blacking out after too much alcohol is extremely worrisome. When someone isn’t completely aware of what is going on it can be difficult for them to say no or communicate that sex contact is unwanted if they are able to at all. Again, this is rape.
The defense “they didn’t say no” is not acceptable, especially with alcohol involved. To be completely certain in unfamiliar situations and when alcohol is involved, always wait for a “yes.”
Bailey can be reached at [email protected].