I believe that every girl should have a BOB—a battery operated boyfriend. I don’t mean that women should replace men for this, but rather to enhance their sexual pleasure, increase self esteem and improve their own body image.

Enhancing sexual pleasure is the most obvious claim for a toy. Men, don’t be afraid or worried about a toy. It’s there to—and I stress this—enhance, not replace. It is a lot more difficult for women to climax or achieve the same pleasure, and this can keep you on the same page.

Increasing self-esteem and body image are a little less obvious. I include these because using a toy on your own or with someone can help you be more aware of your body and what you like. Many women don’t feel comfortable with their bodies while having sex. Confidence in yourself can make a big difference in your enjoyment. Think of it this way: orgasms relieve stress. To orgasm well, you must know your body. Experimenting with different stimulators allows you to get to know your body and understand it. The better you understand your body, the more pleasure you can achieve. The more pleasure, the better you feel about yourself and the more comfortable you can be in your own skin.

Vibrators come in different shapes, sizes and textures. Many are waterproof for use in the shower and easy cleaning. A basic vibrator is slender, smooth metal, and can be long or short. This type’s primary use is to stimulate the clitoris not the inside of the vagina. For inside use there are more comfortably designed vibrators. These are textured differently—usually silicone or plastic—and are thicker than the simple vibrators. These can come with a curved tip for G-spot stimulation, ribs or veins, and can be in the shape of a penis. Length and width can vary.

Bullets are small, oval shaped vibrators that are used on the clitoris and are attached by a wire to the controller. A spin off of this is a bullet encased in silicone with or without ridges that has a ring on the end to be placed around a man’s penis. Another option that is more expensive (more than $100) is easier to maneuver around is the We-Vibe. The We-Vibe is a flexible, U-shaped vibrator that is designed for couples. One end is inserted into the vagina with the other placed on the clitoris. A tiny button to turn the toy on and off and to adjust the intensity or rhythm identifies the outside end. The toy gently hugs to stay in place and doesn’t come out during intercourse. The entire toy vibrates so he will feel it, too.

If a man isn’t available, there is a vibrator to remedy that. “Rabbits” are a style of vibrator that are designed to stimulate everything. The head of the toy spins inside the vagina, while its namesake, a small vibrator in the shape of a rabbit or some other animal, extends out to reach the clitoris.

There are many resources for toys, especially online. One popular retailer is Adam and Eve. It provides quality goodies like the We-Vibe. A more cost-friendly choice is DearLady.com where it constantly has sales on random items. Buying online can be tricky, though. To view and feel the toys before you buy them there are “Adult Stores” and “Megacastle.” Or contact a Pure Romance consultant or attend a party.

Keep in mind that when you buy a toy it must be cleaned. Find a good cleaner and use it after every toy use.

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Bailey can be reached at [email protected].