Consider all Valentine’s Day options

Emma Knudson, Staff writer

Valentine’s Day is here, and whether you find yourself dating, single, wanting to express your platonic or unrequited love to a friend, or you simply do not love the not-so-subtle capitalistic subtexts of this day, there are multiple ways to recognize Cupid’s Holy Day.

This year, regardless of what your Instagram bio claims, consider all of your options— forget the usual dinner and a movie, the roses at your doorstep, or scrolling through the usual “just want someone to bring me a bouquet of chicken nuggets and rub my back lol I’m so low maintenance please date me” retweets on Twitter.

Go for something different!

For starters, just turn off your damn phone. Scrolling through pictures and posts about how amazing so-and-so’s boo-thing is might make you frustrated, sad, nauseous, envious, all of those negative emotions you promised you’d leave behind in 2017.

This is a day for you, not living vicariously through random people you barely know. These people you’re seeing are probably just as miserable, if not more miserable, than some sad single folk.

Hell, that picture of them all loved-up on the beach, talking about “salty kisses” may have been followed by a fight about how one of them got sand in their eye but the other thinks it’s their own fault, followed by “really Richard? Just like how you kissing Stacy last fall while I was in Cabo was my own fault too?” Just leave it alone for a day.

Try any of these things, and I’m sure your Valentine’s Day will be one to remember!

Try a new restaurant. Make each other surprise meals. Clean the other’s room and leave a thoughtful note on their pillow reminding them of how they left a plate in the sink and that they need to clean it before the day is done otherwise you’re done with their dingy bullshit.

Buy the other a fish or a lizard and name it Cupid. Take up knitting and knit couple’s gloves, initials and all. Buy a box of chocolates, take all of the chocolates out, and replace them with glue sticks, coupled with a note saying, “You’re the glue to my life!”

If you’re spending Valentine’s Day with your dog, take them for a walk by a pet store and remind them of how lucky they are to be on the other side, remind them of the love you generously gave them.

Same goes for your significant other, take them to a club and point out all of the attractive ones to remind them that you still chose them; it’s an incredibly thoughtful way to remind them of how special and unique they are!

See who can race up to Smith Rock faster, and whoever loses has to carry the other one down and buy them ice cream, but not until you’ve sat to overlook the view.

If you’re single, try dismantling your shrine of John Stamos and replace it with a shrine of yourself. Ask our mascot out on a date, under the condition that they be in their full mascot costume and behave as such. Go fly fishing.

If you’re spending it with your friend, give them a meme valentine and pat yourself on the back at how clever you are. No one’s thought of that before!

Whatever you do, do it out of love, because that’s what they day is all about, and nothing else, right?