Transition into the break, return home with an open mind

Counseling Center Staff

Winter Break can stress students out more than finals.

Here are a few pointers for returning home so that the whole family can enjoy Winter Break.

1. Don’t expect free reign of the house and hometown unless you had that in high school. Your parents, “are still your parents!” They may want to have some rules in place because their job “is still to keep you safe!” Many parents count on their children’s continued accountability around privileges while at home.

2. Communicate your expectations before you even hit the door. If you imagine roaming free without a curfew, partying at your house, or sleeping in your childhood bed with your new partner, you might want to let your parents in on your plans.

3. Be curious. Ask your family, siblings included, what it has been like without you living at home. You’ll gain insight into the party you are walking in on and will signal to your parents that you have outgrown that self-centered high school stage when you (mostly) cared about yourself.

4. Expect change. Parents may have developed new hobbies with the free time now available to them. Recognize that your visit is temporary and that having you there is joyful and much-awaited it is still an adjustment for all.

5. Negotiate with empathy. Imagine what it is like to be a parent dropping your teenager off at college and then seeing that same person returning home a few short months later thinking she/he is all grown up. When asking for more freedom, understand that your parents have not seen much of those changes and might need proof of your new, more grown self.

6. Have patience. Your parents, and siblings, may appear rigid or slow to adjust. Everyone has high hopes for a jolly holly Christmas/ Hanukah/Kwanza /Winter Break, and you all might feel disappointment or tension. It doesn’t mean your family is hopelessly dysfunctional if you have disagreements around the adjustment.

7. Be prudent and helpful. If you don’t like limits your parents still have for you, take a deep breath and ask yourself who is cooking the holiday meal. If it’s not you, then breathe and count the days until you return to Linfield. Ask, “How can I be helpful?”